Writing an obituary can be an emotionally challenging task, but it is also an important way to honor a loved one’s life and legacy. This article serves as a guide on how to write an obituary that is meaningful, respectful, and fitting to the life of the person being remembered. With thoughtful writing, the obituary can capture the essence of who your loved one was and serve as a lasting tribute for family, friends, and future generations.
What is an Obituary and Why is It Important?
An obituary is a written tribute that commemorates someone’s life, usually published in a newspaper, on a funeral home’s website, or on social media. It provides essential information about the deceased, celebrates their accomplishments, and acknowledges the impact they had on the lives of others.
Writing an obituary serves several purposes:
- It formally announces the passing of a loved one.
- It provides friends and family with funeral or memorial service details.
- It captures the essence of the deceased’s life and achievements.
- It offers a sense of closure to those left behind by highlighting the loved one’s journey, accomplishments, and values.
Steps on How to Write an Obituary
Writing an obituary can feel overwhelming, especially during a time of grief. However, breaking it down into simple steps can help make the process more manageable. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to write an obituary that captures the legacy of your loved one.
Step 1: Gather Key Information
Begin by collecting essential information about your loved one’s life. This will help ensure accuracy and completeness. Here’s what you might need:
- Full Name: Include any commonly known nicknames and maiden names if applicable.
- Dates of Birth and Death: Provide accurate dates for birth and death to give a clear timeframe.
- City and Place of Residence: Include where they lived most of their life or where they considered “home.”
- Family Members: List immediate family members such as spouses, children, siblings, and grandparents.
- Education and Occupation: Mention any schools they attended, degrees earned, or notable professional roles.
- Accomplishments and Hobbies: Include any special achievements, volunteer work, hobbies, or passions.
- Memorial or Funeral Details: If applicable, add the date, time, and location of the service, along with any instructions (e.g., dress code, donation requests).
Step 2: Decide on the Tone and Style
The tone of the obituary can vary depending on your loved one’s personality, as well as family and cultural traditions. Some obituaries are formal and straightforward, while others are more lighthearted and celebratory.
- Formal Tone: Ideal for traditional announcements; it focuses on factual details and achievements.
- Personal and Warm Tone: Emphasizes the personality, passions, and special qualities of the deceased.
- Humorous Tone: Some families opt for a touch of humor to reflect the personality of their loved one, especially if they had a great sense of humor themselves.
Consider your loved one’s personality, your family’s preferences, and the audience who will read the obituary to choose a tone that feels appropriate.
Step 3: Write a Meaningful Introduction
The introduction should capture readers’ attention and provide a quick summary of the person’s life. Begin with an opening line that sets the tone and shares something memorable about your loved one. For instance:
- Example 1: “Jane Marie Thompson, a dedicated teacher, compassionate friend, and beloved mother, peacefully passed away at her home on January 10, 2024, at the age of 74.”
- Example 2: “George ‘Bud’ Williams, known for his big heart and passion for baseball, passed away unexpectedly on June 5, 2023. His laughter and stories will be missed by all who knew him.”
In this opening, you may choose to include their age and the cause of death if the family is comfortable sharing. However, it’s perfectly okay to omit the cause if it feels too private.
Step 4: Summarize the Life Story
An obituary should summarize the person’s life in a way that highlights what made them unique and cherished. This part should be heartfelt and focus on what truly mattered to your loved one. Cover the following areas in the middle section:
Early Life and Family
Describe your loved one’s family background, birthplace, and early years. You might include information about their parents, siblings, or notable childhood experiences. This adds a historical context and gives readers insight into where they came from.
Education and Career
Briefly mention schools attended, degrees earned, and any career milestones. If your loved one was passionate about their career or dedicated years to a particular field, this is the place to honor that commitment.
- Example: “John attended Columbia University, where he received his degree in engineering. He worked for 30 years at ABC Engineering, where he was admired for his dedication and expertise.”
Hobbies, Passions, and Interests
Highlight activities and interests that brought joy to your loved one’s life. Whether it was gardening, painting, sports, or community volunteering, these details create a fuller picture of who they were.
- Example: “Beyond his career, John loved coaching his son’s baseball team, gardening, and spending weekends fishing at his favorite lake. His love of the outdoors and enthusiasm for sports were known by all.”
Accomplishments and Values
Mention any notable achievements or personal values they lived by. Whether it was a commitment to family, charitable contributions, or lifelong friendships, these elements celebrate what they held dear.
- Example: “Jane’s kindness and love for helping others led her to volunteer at local shelters. Her generosity was limitless, and she always put the needs of others first.”
Step 5: Acknowledge Surviving and Predeceased Family Members
It is traditional to list family members who survive the deceased, such as spouses, children, grandchildren, and siblings. This part also honors those who predeceased them. Listing family members can provide comfort and show the loved one’s place within a larger family network.
- Example: “Jane is survived by her husband of 50 years, Michael; her daughters, Sarah and Emma; her grandchildren, Josh and Lucy; and her sister, Margaret.”
Step 6: Provide Funeral or Memorial Information
If the obituary serves as a public announcement, include details about the funeral or memorial service, visitation times, and any other relevant information for those wishing to attend. You may also include requests for charitable donations in lieu of flowers.
- Funeral Information Example: “A memorial service will be held at St. Mark’s Church on Saturday, January 20, 2024, at 2 p.m., followed by a reception at the family home. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Humane Society, an organization close to Jane’s heart.”
Step 7: Close with a Final Tribute
End the obituary with a final note that honors the person’s legacy or expresses the impact they had on those around them. This part doesn’t have to be long but should be heartfelt.
- Example: “Jane’s gentle spirit, compassion, and sense of humor will be remembered by everyone who had the privilege of knowing her. She taught us all the importance of kindness, and her memory will live on in our hearts forever.”
- Example 2: “George was a friend to all, a devoted family man, and a mentor to many. His impact on those he loved is his lasting legacy.”
Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing an Obituary
When learning how to write an obituary, there are a few common mistakes to avoid:
- Overloading with Details: While you want to provide a comprehensive picture, avoid going into excessive detail that can overwhelm readers.
- Excessive Formality: Make the obituary personal and warm, rather than overly formal, to resonate with those who knew your loved one.
- Neglecting Positivity: Focus on the positive aspects of their life rather than any negative experiences or challenges they may have faced.
- Skipping Proofreading: Errors in names, dates, and locations can be distressing, so carefully proofread to ensure accuracy.
Additional Tips for Writing a Memorable Obituary
Writing an obituary can be an opportunity to reflect and celebrate a loved one’s life. Here are some additional tips:
- Gather Input: Talk to family members and friends to gain different perspectives and memories.
- Consider Length and Publication Requirements: Newspapers or online platforms may have word limits, so write concisely.
- Take Your Time: Don’t rush the process. Take breaks if necessary, and revisit the obituary to ensure it truly reflects your loved one’s spirit.
Conclusion
Writing an obituary is a meaningful way to honor a loved one’s life and legacy. By taking the time to thoughtfully compose each part—from the introduction to the final tribute—you can create an obituary that beautifully encapsulates who they were. Learning how to write an obituary not only provides a tribute for others to remember them by but also serves as a healing act that helps you celebrate the cherished memories and the lasting impact they left behind.